Knowing Your Self-Worth…
So many emotions today… so many thoughts going through my mind. I started to reflect on myself – who I am as a person and how people perceive me. I know… seems a little deep, but I started to see some things that have happened and it got me thinking. It took me back to events in my past – certain events that crushed me personally, and I feel like I’m reliving some of them now.
I always just missed out on being fully accepted by certain groups. I was always awkward and uncomfortable… like I truly didn’t belong… in middle school, in high school, now… There was always something missing, and I always looked inward to see what was wrong with me…
Why was I always the forgotten one? The one people really didn’t care about?
What was I doing to cause this? To make people feel a certain way about me?
And see, that was the problem. I was seeking acceptance from those that didn’t truly know me or appreciate my worth.
I always tell people that there are certain characteristics that define me:
-I am shy.
-I am awkward.
-I am an introvert.
-I have incredibly high social anxiety.
Those that can’t even begin to believe me are the ones that have truly accepted me for who I am, and have therefore made me comfortable enough to show them all of me – weird, loud, funny, silly – the good AND the bad.
If you know the quiet me then I believe that you have not given me a chance to be the real me – you don’t see my worth and you have judged something about me, so I retract.
I am a very good judge of character, and I KNOW when people don’t value me. What I need to do now is eliminate that negativity from my life and stop dwelling on it. Stop thinking about why they choose to dislike me or think I’m not one of them, or think I’m not good enough to be a part of their group.
I need to focus solely on those people that DO know my worth (and that also know my flaws), and accept me nonetheless. We all have flaws – don’t even kid yourself.
I have made so many resolutions in the past… but this year is different. This year, I need to focus on the people who make me better – who know me and love me regardless of my flaws. That is TRUE acceptance. Those are the people that I will give my all to. I need to remember that I am worth more than those who decide to judge me, talk about me, and make me feel ‘not good enough’.
I am committed to surrounding myself with positivity and making people feel that they are good enough, too.
That is my mission… <3